Today

Today both of my children are doing a treatment of sorts.  With my 1st child, I have not heard from her in several months.  She called and is 3 weeks off heroin as of last night she was having some emotional issues.  She wanted to get off the phone to get herself under control.  I still haven't heard back from her and  I can tell you that I am more than a little worried. 

At his point in her recovery, I don't know if I should continue to call or give her space to breathe.  Last evening she asked me to tell her that I loved her.  Well, I can assure you I do love her.  The only thing we wish for her is a safe place and people around her who love and uplift her.  She has that from what I understand.  There is a friend and they are working together to get off heroin. 

The process of getting off heroin is pretty brutal and she is taking Saboxin (I have no idea if that is spelled right).  Seizures are the worst.  So at this point I have no idea if she is having a medical issue or if she has relapsed or just needs time to reflect on what is going on.  If she has relapsed, I still love my daughter and will be there for her when she calls. 

No, I can't give money because of the trust issues between us.  But, I can be there to listen.  Right now I don't really think we can talk about some things; I feel that there is some emotional healing that she needs before w can go there.  Mind you I have no idea if I'm correct in that feeling.  It just makes sense to me that she would need to feel stronger emotionally to deal with her feelings.

My son is in an outpatient treatment program, actually I think he is dealing with more mental health issues than addiction.  I mean it's all interconnected, but he hasn't used anything in about 2 months.  He has an apartment and job he enjoys.  It is my sincere hope that he will use this time to deal with triggers and how to cope with them.  We talk, actually he has been calling his dad more.  But I will listen to him if he needs to talk.

My kids mean the world to me and I pray everyday that their lives will get better.  If it does, it will be due to their hard work.

Sincerely,
Katie